My First Time: Intro to Shibari Workshop Review

Introducing "My First Time," a series where real contributors share their stories and experiences. Join us as we navigate the journey into sexual wellness, kinks, fantasies and sex with a large dose of Singaporean spice!

By Jessica C.

Arriving early as a model for Sean, I was greeted kindly and warmingly by him in his humble & cosy Shibari studio. True to prior descriptions about his inspirations for Shibari, the studio decor was in sync, with Japanese retro posters, backdrops, Japandi fittings and even equipment like Tatami foldable mats for us to use.

Sean, better known as Struggling Guy, has been practising shibari actively since 2019, even though his first foray into the art was more than a decade ago. He has since tied more than a hundred people and conducts private sessions whenever time allows. Sean is inspired by Japanese masters Yagami, Yukimura and Osada styles of tying. Sean seeks connection with his models whenever he ties, bringing them comfort, enjoyment and heightened ecstasy.

My first impression of Sean was that he had a surprisingly wholesome vibe around him. Not that I was expecting some sex-charged Casanova, but I was pleasantly surprised to meet someone who looked just like the guy next door conducting a Shibari workshop, to help normalize the art form instead of the oft-held impression that Shibari is only for highly sexual individuals.

Here I was, with Sean, dressed in a Samue (作務衣) , an incredibly simple outfit originally worn by Japanese Zen Buddhist clergy, still even to this day when they are parking in physical, mindful work known as samu. Consisting of a simple pair of pants and a top, they’re typically crafted from linen or cotton and dyed indigo blue, or brown. Its understated simplicity, and carefully considered design is an excellent representation of the practice of Zen Buddhism.

As we began the intimate workshop, Sean iterated that the workshop would focus on EMOTIVE Shibari, instead of technicalities.

We started off with something Sean called "Rope play". One could either just put the ropes over their partner's neck or use a noose-like knot - the Double Overhang Knot. Using the free end of the rope, the Rigger (person doing the tying) uses it like a leash to lure and elicit certain movements/actions in the intended directions.

The Rigger is told to use soft, gentle push and pull movements. This practice is akin to the DATING phase. Would you go: 'HOLD MY HAND!' or do an endearing dance with both hands almost touching, almost holding onto each other? Another analogy used was the example of pulling in and letting go while flying a kite.

We started off with our first tie: The Aisatsu, which translates to "Greetings". In this tie, both arms are placed in a cross-shape, one on top of the other and tied up.

The emotions seemed as though they ran through the ropes when Sean did the tie on me. I felt safe in his hands (and treated Jute ropes!) despite being vulnerable. I have been going through some personal struggles during this period of my life. So the emotions conveyed were particularly strong - I got a bit emotional as it felt uber soothing to the soul.

I could see how people do it for emotional release and why people would break down and cry when they were tied up.

The second tie that Sean taught was the Bunny Tie. The Bunny Tie, also known as the Pillow Tie, is when the wrists are tied together in front of the body and then moved up over the head to a position behind the head or behind the neck, and held in that position in some fashion.

One interesting thing about this tie is that it can be relatively forgiving and comfortable or it can be made extremely challenging and strict! It all depends on how flexible your partner is and how far down their back you pull their wrists. Sean notes the difference between men and women, in that women are typically more flexible and can move their wrists further down their back. Flower Power!????

In true Horny.sg fashion, we shared some other adult toys from sponsor Fifty Shades of Grey including a mini wand, clitoral stimulator, eyemasks, clamps and nipple suckers. These can be used on the ukete (the person being tied up) when they're tied up to add an extra thrill to the experience!

Initially, I was skeptical as to how Shibari could be kinky and yet emotive and appropriate as a Japanese art form. How could something like ropes elicit such powerful emotional responses? How could a rigger make a ukete feel so turned on? How could something as simple as ropes bring about human connection?

However after just one session with Sean, a true master, we realize that it all lies in the skill (both technical and more importantly, emotional capacity) of the rigger. Simply by focusing on being mindful and the emotions you want to convey during the practice, both the rigger and rope bunny end up 'doing a dance' during the practice. I could see how Shibari could make for a transformative experience or simply, a fun date night!