Sexual Wellness: Safe Sex, Tips & Sex Toy Recommendations
‘Wellness’ is a big deal - from emotional wellness like journaling and meditating to physical wellness such as doing regular exercises - there is so much more to it than meets the eye.
Unfortunately, not many pay attention to sexual wellness and even though the term is not new, only a few truly understand what it encompasses. So if you are one of them, you are definitely not alone.
Sexual wellness is “a state of physical, emotional, mental, and social well-being concerning sexuality”. It is not just about sexual diseases or dysfunctions, although these are equally important. Apart from physical health, sexual wellness also plays an important role in one’s mental health and several factors like pleasure and practising safe sex can affect it.
Not sure where to start? This guide to tips for improving sexual health and enhancing pleasure, sex toy recommendations and more will motivate you to start taking charge of your sexual wellness.
Keep reading to find out more!
Part 2 - All About Sexual Wellness
2.1 What exactly is sexual wellness and why does it matter?
Sexual wellness is a lifelong practice commonly referred to as “making conscious choices that meet one’s desires and contribute to one’s overall sexual health and enjoyment”. While this is a broad definition, sexual wellness can mean different things to different people.
For instance, masturbating with a vibrator or penis pump for solo pleasure is a form of practising sexual wellness to some but having safe sex is most crucial to others.
Learn more: Beginner’s Guide to Masturbation: Why & How You Should Do It
There is no one size fits all solution to sexual wellness - a holistic approach is key.
Here are some reasons why sexual wellness should never take a backseat:
1. It boosts self-esteem
Exploring your likes and dislikes when it comes to sex and pleasure can help to boost self-esteem, which has a direct correlation to being comfortable and confident enough to assert your views and say “no” at times.
Likewise, educating yourself with ways to pleasure your partner, for example, is a great way to increase your self-confidence in bed which can have an effect on other areas of your life.
2. It improves relationships
Physical intimacy between partners fosters feelings of closeness and enhances relationship satisfaction. Alas, sexual dysfunctions like low libido and premature ejaculation can drive a rift between lovers. This is when sexual wellness comes into play - speaking to a professional, seeking medical advice and researching solutions such as using a delay spray for men could help with issues that are affecting your sex life, improving relationships in return.
3. It keeps you healthy, both physically and mentally
Having sex should not be seen as a chore - it is a fun, exciting and passionate activity that does not just keep the relationship going, but will also keep you healthy both physically and mentally. Sex lessens stress and anxiety, burns calories, and reduces the risk of prostate cancer in men, among many other benefits.
2.2 Ways to stay sexually healthy for both physical and mental health
A key component of sexual wellness is staying sexually healthy, which is a combination of emotional, psychological, physical and intellectual aspects. However, it is important to note that sexual health is cultivated over an entire lifespan.
Here are some ways to dedicate yourself to this lifetime endeavour:
1. Consume food that will boost your sex life
“You are what you eat” so it is no surprise that certain foods play a part in boosting your sex life - a balanced and nutritious diet can increase libido, improve stamina and enhance blood flow.
Food like oysters which are rich in zinc boost blood flow and hormone levels to increase your sex drive while nuts and seeds contain compounds that can strengthen your sexual function.
2. Avoid smoking
Smoking is detrimental to testosterone levels in both men and women, leading to decreased sex drive. Additionally, nicotine affects blood flow, making it difficult for men to get and keep it up. So do yourself a favour and quit or avoid smoking as much as possible to prevent less-than-satisfactory sexual experiences.
3. Cut down on alcohol
Excessive alcohol consumption is bad for your liver but also equally harmful to your sex life. It can interfere with the messengers in the brain that tell the penis to fill with blood, causing erectile dysfunction (ED). It also reduces sexual sensitivity, causing you to find it harder to orgasm and resulting in less intense climaxes. Although using sex toys for men like a cock ring and sex toys for women like a clit sucker could amplify pleasure during the deed, cutting down on alcohol will be beneficial for both your sexual and overall well-being in the long term.
4. Keep fit with regular exercise
Imagine feeling completely exhausted even before your partner finishes and unsexily gasping for air every few seconds. A weak core and poor cardio health can lead to unsatisfying sex, leaving both parties high and dry. Thus, being in good shape is important as it makes sex more enjoyable. Core exercises are great for improving balance which will come in handy when trying out different sex positions while cardiovascular exercises enhance endurance so you can hit it longer.
5. Consult an expert when needed
There is no need to feel ashamed about having to see a sex therapist - early intervention can help you to get back on track as soon as possible. Sex therapists deal with various sexual problems ranging from pain during sex to ED and premature ejaculation.
6. Reduce your stress levels
Stress increases the production of cortisol hormones that suppress sex hormones, leading to lower libido. Regulate your stress levels by practising self-care, spending time with family and friends and maybe even masturbating more frequently. Sex toys are your best friends when it comes to getting a pleasurable release whether with or without a partner.
7. Practise safe sex
Staying sexually healthy also means taking measures to avoid sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and this can be easily achieved by simply practising safe sex.
2.3 Practising safe sex for a better sex life
While we are on the topic of safe sex, it is also crucial for you to understand what it is all about. Other than protecting yourself from STIs, safe sex helps you to avoid unplanned pregnancies too.
Here are some ways to keep yourself protected so you can enjoy some action without having to worry about the consequences.
1. Understand consent
First and foremost, safe sex involves making every party feel comfortable and getting active consent. Active consent means that it is not assumed but asked, can be withdrawn anytime and must not be given under the influence of pressure, drugs and alcohol. Ongoing communication is part of sexual consent and checking in with each other during sex is crucial to ensure both you and your partner feel safe.
2. Stay protected through condoms and contraception
Condoms can prevent you from getting an STI but since they cannot offer 100% protection, going for regular STI testing is still necessary. And if you are not ready to have a child, using contraception is your best bet for avoiding unplanned pregnancies. There are several contraceptive methods ranging from 92% to more than 99% effective.
3. Practise safe oral sex
Oral sex may be safer than genital sex in the sense that you cannot get pregnant from it, but you may be surprised to find that many STIs are spread through oral sex. Before going down on someone, use a condom, dental dam or other barrier methods to reduce the risk of giving or getting an STI.
4. Avoid sharing sex toys
STIs can also be spread via shared sex toys through bodily fluids so it is always advisable to wash and clean the toy before using it or put a condom over a dildo to protect yourself.
5. Communicate openly
Open communication is important to help you make the right choice - consider discussing past partners and history of STIs with the person you are going to have sex with. Even though this might be a difficult conversation to have for some, it is crucial for all parties involved to know each other’s boundaries, expectations and fantasies.
6. Go for regular tests
The only way to know for sure whether you have an STI is to go for regular tests:
- - Get tested for chlamydia and gonorrhoea annually if you engage in sexual activity at least once a year and are between the ages of 21 and 25
- - Get tested for HIV and STIs more than once a year if you have multiple sexual partners
- - Get tested as soon as possible before starting a new relationship out of respect for each other
7. Look out for signs of STIs
Although many STIs like HIV do not present symptoms, learning to look out for some telltale signs will allow you to put a stop to any action before it is too late. Pay attention to:
- - Unusual discharge from the vagina, penis or anus
- - Lumps, skin growths, blisters or sores around the genitals
- - Warts in the mouth or throat
Getting your HPV vaccines is also important, as having multiple sexual partners or sexual encounters at an early age can increase one’s risk of cervical cancer.
8. Try no-contact sexual activities
Want to wait it out till you or your partner’s test results are back before having sex? There are several no-contact sexual activities that will offer pleasure and satisfaction. Try sexting and using individual sex toys on each other to build anticipation for when the real deal happens!
2.4 Tried and tested tips for improved sexual pleasure
Safe sex sets the foundation for more enjoyable sex, but there are also ways to make the experience even more mind-blowing. Here are some tried and tested tips that will increase pleasure and wow your partner:
1. Bring in sex toys
Using sex toys during sex does not mean you are unhappy with what your partner can offer. There is a wide range of toys designed to pleasure different erogenous zones to enhance the sexual experience for bigger and better orgasms. For instance, a prostate massager pleasures the p-spot for men and a clit sucker focuses on the clitoris which is a pleasure powerhouse for women.
2. Use lube
Lube helps to increase wetness for more enjoyable sex and prevent chafing so you can last longer and go faster. It also decreases friction during sex, so the risk of a condom tearing is reduced for higher protection.
3. Spend more time on foreplay
Talk dirty, do a sexy dance, play sexy games, act out a fantasy or tease each other with sex toys - your options for foreplay are endless.
Consider using sex toys for men such as a male masturbator or cock ring, and sex toys for women like a vibrator to take things up a notch before intercourse.
4. Switch things up with the location
A change of scenery might just get your adrenaline pumping for toe-curling orgasms - start small by moving to the kitchen or living room to act out your sexual fantasies.
Learn more: 10 Foolproof Tips for Better Sex
Part 3 - How Sex Toys Aid in Enhancing Sexual Wellness
3.1 Benefits of using sex toys in both partnered sex and solo play
We have mentioned using sex toys a few times now but this in-depth guide to how they can help to enhance sexual wellness will convince you to add one to your cart right away.
Contrary to popular belief, sex toys are not just for solo usage. They can be incorporated into partnered sex as well to add pizzazz to mundane sexual experiences.
Here are the benefits of exploring sex toys for both partnered sex and solo pleasure.
Sex toys in partnered sex
- Boost sexual performance
Bringing sex toys into the bedroom can boost your sexual performance by doubling the pleasure for your partner. For example, using a clit sucker on your partner during penetrative sex will offer her leg-shaking orgasms because clitoral stimulation is often necessary for some women to climax.
- Bring fantasies to life
Unfulfilled sexual desires are more common than you think and one of them is achieving simultaneous orgasms. As men tend to reach climax faster than women, having orgasms at the same time can be a challenge. Luckily, you can bring this fantasy to life by using a couple’s sex toy - some wearable vibrators can be used during intercourse to provide internal g-spot and external clitoris stimulations while the guy receives penile stimulation.
- A bonding experience
Exploring sex toys together with your partner is an exciting experience which is also great for bonding. As you learn how to use a new sex toy together and shop for interesting ones, you will get a clearer idea of each other’s preferences as well.
- Take some pressure off you and your partner
A tip for men to last longer in bed is to introduce a clitoral sex toy to keep the action going and continue pleasuring your partner while pausing for breaks. This is an example of how sex toys come into play to take some pressure off both you and your partner - after all, penetrative sex is not the only way to achieve electrifying orgasms.
- Add to the relationship
Whether you are in a long-term relationship or just getting to know someone, incorporating different sex toys into the mix is a novelty that will help to spice things up in the bedroom. Sex does not have to be routine and mundane - sex toys offer varying sensations and pleasure various erogenous zones, making intercourse fun once again.
Sex toys in solo play
- Bigger and better orgasms
The best part about using a sex toy is not having to depend on a partner for pleasure! Anytime you feel like it, all you have to do is whip out your trusty vibrator or penis pump to experience pleasure catered to your unique needs, leading to bigger and better orgasms.
- Help you to explore your preferences
Solo play empowers you to embrace your body and sexuality. While your hands and fingers can do the trick, using a sex toy helps to make the experience an effortless and truly enjoyable one. It allows you to discover your preferences in a safe space, helping you to understand what you like or dislike which is especially useful if you are a beginner to sex toys or sex.
- Improve sexual dysfunction symptoms
Did you know that sex toys are not just solely for pleasure? They can help to improve symptoms of certain sexual dysfunctions like ED and orgasm disorder too. For instance, cock rings slow down blood flow out of the penis to increase sensation and make an erection last longer and harder. Vibrators have been found to be able to treat orgasmic difficulty in women too - a study reported that 100% of women achieved an orgasm using the Womanizer vibrator and the majority believed that it improved their sexual response as well.
3.2 Sex toy recommendations to enhance pleasure
If you are convinced to start exploring what sex toys have to offer, this list of recommendations for both beginners who have no idea where to start and pros looking for something new is just what you need.
Sex toys for men
1. Tenga Egg
Not ready to invest in an expensive sex toy yet? The Tenga Egg is a must-try. This small but mighty toy features an ultra-stretchy material that fits users of any size and a variety of unique internal details to offer strokes for different folks. Once you are done, simply place it back into the shell and dispose of it - there is no need to worry about washing or cleaning at all.
2. Lelo Hugo
The penis is not the only erogenous zone men experience immense pleasure from - stimulating the p-spot located in the rectum can also bring you to a climax you have never experienced before. The Lelo Hugo is a medium-sized toy perfect for beginners experiencing anal play for the first time.
3. Lovense Gush
The Lovense Gush Glans Massager is especially apt to replicate a teasing blow or handjob, as it focuses on pleasuring the glans, also known as the head or tip of your penis. If you can only choose one toy, this is definitely the one to get regardless of whether you are a beginner or a seasoned sex toy user.
4. Toysheart onahole
A global leader in the onahole toy market, Toysheart's male masturbators are perfect for those who love hentai and all things anime. Each onahole is paired with a different theme to bring your wildest sexual fantasies to life, amplifying the experience for exhilarating orgasms.
Learn more: 10 Best Male Sex Toys Available in Singapore to Explore
Sex toys for women
1. We Vibe Melt
2. Lelo SMART WAND™ 2
What could possibly be better than a vibrating sex toy that doubles up as a full-body massager too? The LELO SMART WAND™ 2 Medium relieves tension in your body, relaxing your muscles and getting you ready for a holistic and unwinding orgasmic experience.
3. The Horny Company Damn Realistic Thrusting Dildo
If you are searching for a sex toy for some penetrative fun without the need for a partner, a dildo is your best bet. The Horny Company’s Damn Realistic Thrusting Dildo, as its name suggests, is like your secret boyfriend with its hyper-realistic size, girth and shape. Go to town with this high-quality dildo for satisfying sessions, time after time.
4. Lovense Ferri
Not all sex toys are strictly for use in the bedroom - a panty vibrator is a discreet toy for some fun on the go. The Lovense Ferri is low-profile for public play and can be comfortably used with any type of underwear for powerful clitoral stimulation while out and about.
Learn more: 6 Female Sex Toys You Need to Take Pleasure Into Your Own Hands
3.3 Playing it safe with sex toys
Using sex toys the right way and maintaining utmost hygiene are both a part of your sexual wellness journey too. Here are some things to take note of to help you play it safe:
- Do not be afraid to use lube
Lubricants are not just for sex, using them with your sex toy protects you and your toy and helps to minimise discomfort. This is also especially important when using anal toys to enhance pleasure and prevent anal fissures since the anus is not self-lubricating.
- Avoid hazardous materials and chemicals
Phthalates are chemicals commonly found in the rubber of cheap sex toys and have been linked to issues like male infertility, asthma and more. Hence, shopping for toys at a reputable sex shop in Singapore is essential to ensure you are not putting your health at risk.
Some sex toy materials to avoid include jelly, rubber and PVC as they typically contain phthalates and are also porous materials that trap bacteria.
- Always clean your sex toys after every use
Refer to the manufacturer’s specific instructions on how to clean your sex toy, but a rule of thumb is to always use mild soap and water after each use before drying it down with a microfiber cloth. Make sure to check if your sex toy is waterproof or splashproof too.
- Avoid sharing sex toys
Keeping your sex toys to yourself is the best way to avoid putting yourself at risk of contracting an STI. Alternatively, putting a condom over a dildo will reduce the risk significantly.
- Avoid going back and forth with vaginal and anal play
When using a sex toy, avoid placing it on or in your vagina after anal play without washing it thoroughly first to prevent infections.
3.4 Answering frequently asked questions about sex toys
Are you a sexpert or a novice to sex toys? Regardless of your experience, we have gathered some of the frequently asked questions about sex toys to save you the trouble of scouring the internet for answers.
1. What should I do if I am too shy to enter a sex shop?
You could choose to shop for sex toys online in the comfort of your own home. However, stepping into a sex shop to look at and feel the toys for yourself is going to be a whole new experience. The key is to keep an open mind, bring a friend along to ease any awkwardness, and have a brief idea of what you are looking for before entering.
2. What should I look for in a vibrator?
Consider the size, shape and sensation. There is no one-size-fits-all vibrator, so it is recommended that you do your research and be open to experimenting to find the perfect choice.
3. What does “body safe” mean?
It refers to materials that are safe for your body and will not deteriorate in the body or degrade over time, causing infections. 4.
4. What happens when I realise I do not enjoy using a sex toy?
You may want to first find out if you are using it wrongly by reading the manual, or exploring different options to find something that ticks all your boxes. Searching for sex toys online is a great way to weigh your options slowly without feeling pressured.
5. How can I bring up using sex toys with my partner?
When it comes to trying out new stimulations, honest communication is key. Have open conversations with your partner about your desire to spice things up in the bedroom and how sex toys may bring you closer as the both of you explore what feels good for each other.
Sexual wellness is a lifelong journey - start today
It is never too late to start learning about your sexual needs. Taking the first step by being open to trying sex toys or taking measures to practise safe sex will bring you closer to your sexual wellness goals.
Sexual wellness is important regardless of your age, gender and sexual orientation. Keep these tips in mind for an improved sex life for a positive impact on your physical, mental and emotional health.
If you are looking for a one-stop platform to shop for sex toys online in Singapore, Horny.sg is the one. We carry a wide range of sex toys, sex essentials like lube and condoms, naughty games to build anticipation and more.