The ABCs of BDSM to Help You Unleash Your Kinky Side

BDSM is often misunderstood as a harmful sex practice or something that only people who are abnormally deviant will enjoy. But not all BDSM scenarios have to look like something straight out of the Fifty Shades movies, nor will you need to have a huge stash of kinky sex toys or transform your space into a Red Room.

While exploring the unchartered territory of BDSM sounds daunting to most, it is also important to understand that it can be a safe and fun experience with the right person and boundaries.

Here are the ABCs of BDSM to help you decide if this is something you are up for and let your kinky side run wild - keep reading to find out more.

What is BDSM?

What is BDSM-sex toys singapore

  • Bondage and discipline (BD)

Bondage refers to being physically restrained and usually involves sex toys like handcuffs, ropes and blindfolds. Discipline is a practice in which the submissive partner obeys and follows a set of rules enforced by the dominant partner. BD focuses on having pleasure being given and relinquished, bringing all parties over the edge in a teasing manner.

  • Dominance and submission (DS)

The dominant partner will essentially be in charge while the submissive partner hands over control in DS play. This arrangement can take place strictly only during sex or even outside of the bedroom if that sounds like something up your alley.

  • Sadism and masochism (SM)

As its name suggests, sadism is the act of inflicting pain and deriving pleasure from it while masochism is the enjoyment of receiving pain. And if you happen to like both, then you are a sadomasochist.

Learn more: Sex Dictionary: Defining 14 Lesser-Known Sex Terms

Staying safe while engaging in BDSM

Staying safe while engaging in BDSM-sex toys singapore

Regardless of whether you enjoy BD, DS or SM, protecting yourself is still of utmost importance at the end of the day. BDSM can only be truly exhilarating when partners put significant effort into setting boundaries and having open communication.

Here are some tips for staying safe while engaging in BDSM:

1. Agree on a safe word

Having a safe word that signals your partner to stop immediately is crucial - it can be anything under the sun but avoid using “no” because saying no may be part of the deal in some type of play.

It is also key to agree on a non-verbal safe word such as tapping with your hand, for when gagging or breath play is involved.

2. Know your sex toys

Various sex toys are often incorporated into BDSM so knowing what they do and how to use them will help you to make informed decisions based on your comfort level.

You can also consider visiting a sex shop in Singapore with your partner to find out more about BDSM sex toys so that both of you can agree on the ones to purchase and throw into the mix.

3. Discuss rules and boundaries beforehand

Before jumping the gun, having a discussion to negotiate rules and boundaries is a prerequisite for any type of play. This is when you lay your cards on the table to talk about what you are comfortable with and what is off-limits.

Sometimes, the talk can even be a turn-on and build anticipation for what is to come next!

4. Avoid painkillers and alcohol

Mixing painkillers, alcohol and BDSM together is a recipe for disaster - if you feel the need to get high or feel less pain, then BDSM is probably not for you. Furthermore, taking painkillers beforehand can dull your senses and make engaging in BDSM riskier, especially when sex toys such as floggers and ropes are involved.

Beginner-friendly sex toys that will make BDSM more exciting

Beginner-friendly sex toys that will make BDSM more exciting-sex toys singapore

If you are ready to give BDSM a try, consider adding these beginner-friendly sex toys to your collection.

  • Handcuffs

Great for roleplaying and to restraint a submissive partner, handcuffs will make a thrilling addition to your bedroom.

  • Nipple clamps

Do not forget sex toys for other erogenous zones of the body - nipple clamps are a good mix between pain and pleasure, and will bring you or your partner over the edge in no time.

  • Collar and leash

If you are into DS play, a collar and leash are must-haves to bring your wildest fantasies about power play to life.

  • Blindfold

Using a blindfold to obscure your vision will help to heighten sensations and is almost like entrusting your body to your partner, doubling the pleasure for both parties.

  • Flogger

The flogger is another sex toy must-have if you are into SM play - it is typically made of soft leather and is used to whip a consenting partner.

  • Ropes

Rope bondage can be a beautiful and intricate art form and it requires skill, patience and creativity to do it well.

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